During the merry-making of holidays, it's easy to overwhelm our schedules, and lose ourselves to the noise. As we muster all the magic of the season and funnel it into our homes, share the reason for the story with our children, and scramble to keep up with responsibilities that don’t simply go away because of the holidays, it’s easy to feel like we are slipping. And as we absorb the madness around us, it's easy to slip into comparing ourselves with everyone else.
Lysa Terkeurst shares in her book, The Best Yes, "A woman who lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule will often ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul." (Ch. 3, p. 21) While Terkeurst is referring to the day-to-day clamor we all contend with as she shares ways of saying “Yes!” to the deeper calls of our souls, this feeling of being overwhelmed often encapsulates the hearts of parents during the holidays.
As we order wish list items off Amazon, hang ornaments, and wrap presents, feelings of failure often entangle our minds and seal us off from the joy of the season. We worry over forgetting something, stress over being late, and rush to the next item or event on our list. We reminisce over the glow of our own childhood Christmas, and get caught up trying to make sure we have it all together- that our kids won’t miss out.
Our culture has a mindset of doing more. One that says doing more, means more. But the truth is, sometimes less is best. Sometimes, if we put our souls before our schedules, we can simplify our stress and magnify our strengths. "After all, remember the decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul." (The Best Yes, Ch. 3, p. 27)
As we try to make our children’s Christmases perfect, I think we forget that not every memory has to be made in one year, in one Christmas.
Maybe this year, you have time to spend an afternoon making a gingerbread house (or volcano, in our case.) Maybe this year, you choose sleep over frantic middle of the night “I forgot to move the Elf!” stress. Maybe, like me, you love crafting but are super forgetful.
Maybe this year, you don’t have time to send updated pictures of your family to your extended relatives, but still choose to pose the kids in front of the tree, bribing them with candy for your own benefit. Because maybe, like me, you tend to be behind but still love holiday themed-photography.
Maybe this year, you are out of chocolate chips and never remembered to buy Christmas shaped cookie-cutters, so you baked snickerdoodles instead. Maybe this year, traveling back home to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins isn’t an option. Maybe this year, you skip the festivals, the lights, the Santa visits, and just enjoy being HOME.
Whatever magic you choose, I hope you realize playing to your strengths doesn’t mean you are failing. It’s okay to be choosey in the mess of making memories. Sometimes, our souls need us to leave room in our schedules to allow for an organic bloom of life.
Time spent wielding foam-swords while fighting daddy. Time spent building Lego dragons and block towers with mommy. Memories spent snuggling on the couch watching the same shows that fill ordinary evenings. Because sometimes, our hearts find their favorite merriment in the simple joys of an unfolding family.
As we purposefully spend time investing in our families this season, we also need to remember that families are not only comprised of children. Holidays were made for connection, and yet far too often, we let our spouses fall to the bottom of our lists.
Prioritizing our children at the expense of our spouses can be far more costly than we realize. Sometimes, we need to remind our hearts that intentionally spending time with our partners does not make us bad parents. Jesus came to make our relationships right with him. Maybe, a way to honor his birth is by attempting to do the same in our own homes, in our own marriages.
This holiday season, my prayer is that you and I will "Find that courageous yes. Fight for that confident no. Know it. State it. Own it. And move on without all the complication." (The Best Yes, Ch. 4, p.35)
Because even during the holidays- maybe especially during the holidays- it is important to realize that "Wisdom makes decisions today that will still be good tomorrow." (The Best Yes, Ch. 4, p.39)
Merry Christmas! May love fill your souls this season.
Luke 2:10-14
"And the angel said to them, 'Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you:
you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom He is pleased!'"
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