All week I have seen posts on what mommas really want. I have seen post about how hard it is to be a momma. A plethora of posts have been shared about mommas just needing a day off; a day to sleep in, to leave snack-making to Daddy, to take a nap, and soak in a luxurious bubble bath, sipping wine while hubby folds the mountainous piles of laundry we never seem to have the time to get to.
And I get it. I really do. But let's face it, life doesn't take a break just because it's a holiday. While it's fun to dream up a perfect spa day, a lot of us are realizing today just isn't that day.
Maybe you got your wish of sleeping in on that decadent mattress you bought a couple of weeks ago, but when you leave to try out that new church, five minutes into the message you discover it's a Mormon service, and, well, you aren't Mormon. (That may or may not have happened to my husband and I this morning.) Maybe your kids tried to make you breakfast but burnt the toast, maybe the baby is sick and kept you up most of the night, or maybe the sound of your children bickering seems to follow every sip of your cold coffee. Things are going to go wrong, and you are still expected to be Mom.
Maybe on the one day you hoped to not be the dependable diaper changer, you still find yourself wiping chubby cheeks. Or maybe you thought today of all days you could sit on the toilet alone, but instead you find bright eyes glittering with laughter sitting on the bathroom carpet across from you, staring as you "pottttyyyy."
Maybe you've spent all week trying to keep everything together, but as you sit here reading this you keep thinking of all of those moments when nothing was together. . . When your son was covered head to toe in grey paint, when you shrieked because the "stick-y" your son was dangling over your head was really a piece of dog poop, or because two minutes into your time at the park your toddler collided heads with the baby while trying to help push her in the swing.
Maybe, after all the subtle and not so subtle hints, it feels like your husband just dropped the ball. Because none of the laundry is folded, the beds are unmade, the kitchen is a mess, the vase is empty of flowers, you didn't even attempt church, and all you want is a shower but your stuck on the couch nursing while your son throws fruit snacks all over the carpet. Maybe, your spending Mother's Day being a Mom.
And it's okay.
Your worth as a mom is not measured by how you feel on one day of the year. Your relationship with your spouse is not accurately depicted by the number of flowers in your kitchen vase. How cherished you truly are is not wholly represented in the amount of hand crafted gifts you receive.
Don't let your idea of how today should be cause resentment to grow in your heart.
Whether or not your husband folds the laundry or takes the kids bowling, he loves you. He appreciates you. He may not see everything that you do, but, Friend, he sees you. He sees the hard work you pour into his children day and night. He relishes having a safe place to come home to every day. He chose you to create this beautiful life with. He chose you to be the Momma of his children. And don't forget, you chose him too.
It's really not this day that matters- it's every other day. It's all the days that added up into you being a momma. It's all the moments that added up into your best friend being a daddy.
It's in the hours you spent snuggling your newborn while she clustered fed, it's in the afternoons you spent vrooming cars with your toddler while exclaiming "beep beep," it's in the sopping wet towels discarded after bath time, it's in the sippy cups crusted with old milk in the sink, it's in the clogged memory on your phone from hundreds of pictures of tiny fists and wide smiles, and in the tears you've wept from frustration over raising these tiny humans.
Motherhood is found in the days we don't have off. Motherhood is in the prayer of a woman desperately trying to have a baby, or mourning the loss of one. It's in the laughter of a woman listening to her son say, "Chick'n, right here," while she dishes out dinner and tries to get him to say "Please." It's in the moments we sit on the toilet and weren't alone, and the times where it seemed the only way to get that shower was to bring everyone with her.
So if today your eating chocolate and binge-watching your favorite show while finally folding that mountain of laundry, it's okay. You're in good company.
It's okay to be a Mom on Mother's Day; because the truth is, we love it. And we couldn't celebrate it any better way.
Much love, and Happy Mother's Day!
~Rachel
*If you found this encouraging or humorous in any way, feel free to share it or tag a momma friend. I would love to hear how you all spent your Momma's Day and what it has meant for you this year.*
For more posts like this one, check out my Facebook page Rachel Weidner @ForeverDreamingWriting, or go directly to my blog at Forever Dreaming Writing. Thank you!
留言